Fellowship of the Broken: Iona Sain died and was born on Saturday, April 1st
We're in shock this happened after another vibrant pregnancy, while in the midst of labor
We're left again with absolutely no answers
With every birth professional again reminding us that the likelihood of a concrete explanation is slim-- cord and placenta pathology comes back with an answer maybe 30% of the time and an autopsy comes back 15% of the time
This is just something that happens
Every person who has helped us since Friday has said their knowledge about stillbirth only goes so far-- most of the time they are unexplained acts of God
We've walked this path of Great Mystery since losing Callum, but having Iona die feels like territory uncharted
We know the map of grief but to have to face this again is unimaginable. We'll have to walk slowly and purpose-fully each day
A chaplain came to speak with us. He and his wife lost a child too
He said even though there is no way to truly understand someone's experience, we remain united and bonded in our losses
We touch humanity through our grief
We've been forged by the fires of great loss and this is what the fellowship of the broken looks like
It takes the wounded healers among us-- the ones to bear the unbearable-- to bring through the greater purposes of life
All of the WHYS and HOWS don't seem to matter as much when you're dealing with the starkness of death
Having answers doesn't change things much because we're looking for a heart healing only faith can bring
I'm very appreciative that we lost Callum and have Bea to get us through this major transition without our daughter Iona
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our family during the pregnancy
The community we have built around us through family, friendships, our business, and the farmers market is so strong
Please don't stop asking how we're doing
We need that normalcy to help put our lives back together and you will help us do it piece by piece
So here's a picture of Iona, some flowers Bea gave her and me, Brandon holding her this morning when saying our goodbyes, and me inspecting her flawless hands and wrinkly feet
We love you all
