ha wai 'i

🌈 in the time of social distancing I'm gonna keep getting closer🌈
.
heart to heart, face to face, spirit to spirit, breath to breath
.
🌌🌌🌌
Ha is the breath of life
.
Wai is the water, but also the force that pours out of each of us
.
'I is supreme
.
🌌🌌🌌
It is the remembrance
.
It is the return
.
It is the embrace
.
It is the sovereignty
.
It is the state of grace we all live in and come from
.
🌊🌊🌊
Hawai'i is inside us-- the essential mana that flows through all things and the sacred beingness of Spirit

wholeness

midday sun + palm shadows = lesson on wholeness and the journey back to self

I saw this on the ground, just beyond my feet, and immediately heard: the darkest shadow and the brightest light exist side by side-- one illuminates the other

This seems to be a golden lesson that I've been panning for

Somewhere along the way we get split

We learn how to be human by betraying ourselves to comfort others

We learn that this is love. This is sacrifice. This is the way we've always done things. This is good.

We are taught to not undo those things. We are asked: why can't you JUST fall in line? Why do YOU always have to cause problems?

Coming back to myself requires open arms and a fucking strong spine

I am constantly seeing sides of myself that I have been taught to reject. To hate. I am trying to love myself through that deep rejection. I am trying to unlearn what was taught

All because I know the pain and weight of not being whole

Through anger, I talk myself through that shit. I remind myself who I really am

By getting deeper into the world of others and understanding the reasons I would have been taught to diminish these sides of myself, I feel true freedom

It's hard work to have compassion for their experiences, their traumas, their abuses-- even their desires to keep things unveiled (so as to not disrupt their perception of control)

But it's hard to work against a system of injustice-- one that seems to be our birthright-- while still staying kindhearted, sensitive, and brave to MY SELF

Not doing this work seems to perpetuate the vicious cycle of betrayal-- both in me and in other

I was called here to liberate myself and my ancestors from the sickness that hangs on my family. I am cleaning up the shit all the time both on the physical plane and in the ancestor realm

THIS seems to be what works for me and the only way I can see my inherent greatness (in all its radical glory)

The dark and the light exist side by side as master teachers. And we are forever in the middle of the two, trying to find balance between all their aspects

The endless beam between rejection and reclamation, society and self, slavery and sovereignty, here and heaven 🌌

children of pele

here we are! hats on, post swim, pre nap 🌊🌈❤👋 enjoying a secret spot at the foot of Pele's Chair

It's a hot hike through honey scented kiawe and cacti. As you get closer to her seat you pass through root tangled lava fields and areas of bleached-white washed-up coral

We've been spending a lot of time here during our dislocation: teaching Bea how to swim in the shallows; wading in the protected pools, shaped by local hands ages ago; watching the fish and birds, swim through the water and climb through the air; warming ourselves on the black slabs of lava while checking out the tiniest shells in existence; really thinking about what it means to slow down and drink it all in

The term "at the foot of Pele" has been on repeat though

When I was pregnant with Callum, I had this intense calling to head to the Big Island. I knew it was Pele calling me home

We stayed close to the volcano, nestled in all of her nooks and crannies-- little pockets of lava fields and rainforests for days, we move through her like Callum moved through me

I went to her home-- Halema'uma'u-- to ask her what she would like for an offering

She told me that my children were my offering

Raising them walking in her tradition was the offering that meant the most. It would change everything. It was the one she can build her legacy upon

I felt blessed to know we were all being birthed by her and through her. All of us, Children of Pele-- great fire mother

I've have many initiations where she has been by my side-- namely the death and birth of Callum. Kīlauea's massive eruption was the year I gave birth to Bea-- and my csection felt like a fissure that opened up in the earth where all life poured from. She was holding my hand as I unleashed blinding rage and shook off load of shit settling in to being a grieving mother

Right now feels like an initiation too. But she's quiet. Retreated. Isolated. Sitting on her thrown after having birthed the islands, taking time to reflect. The same tide turns in me these days

So in the quiet, I teach Bea to play at her feet and feel protected by her presence-- all while learning her new aspects and loving her for all that she unveils to us🌋🔥🌌🌿🌈

projections of paradise

Paradise isn't always paradise, people.

Not now, not ever.

COVID state:
There are cops walking the beaches, handing out $5k tickets for just sitting down in the sand. The people who have homes on or near the beach are the ones complaining of the beachgoers seeking refuge. These are families, elders, and people who are looking for a place to go that is ACTUALLY safe.

Most of the hiking trails are closed leaving tons of people who need to exercise with 3 options: either break the law, move around in their crowded valleys not following social distancing rules, or not get out at all.

The homeless have limited access to their normal facilities so they're resorting to taking care of business in public which is a separate public health issue than COVID. There are limited services for them during the good times-- coupled with a fairly high population-- which makes this a situation of life and death for their community. Shelters have insufficient space for the people that need beds. They are now being asked to reduce capacity by 50% to accommodate the 6ft separation between people. The State is starting to relocate them across the island.

The domestic violence rates are at an all time high because of the stay at home order. Home is not safe for everyone. The number of calls the Dept of Human Services have been receiving has doubled. Mostly women and children being victimized.

Food banks have been broken-in to numerous times. Food donations and monetary donations are down for obvious reasons, so the break-ins don't help. Hawaii FoodBank feeds 10% of the population on an average day.

Jobless claims are around 200k (with a population of 1.4 million) and the main industry-- tourism-- is at a stand still. 25% of the workers here applied for unemployment.

48% of people here live on the edge of poverty and officials are thinking that the number could be closer to 70% post-COVID.

Reality:
People here have been fighting for the sovereignty of their communities since colonizers illegally seized their lands. The depth of their power and drive is remarkable.

Too often people see their projections of paradise instead of a place that has deep roots and systemic problems

you are worthy of love and respect

You are worthy of love and respect. You are worthy of love and respect. You are worthy of love and respect.

In a time-- and on a platform-- where wisdom has become a bit of a commodity, I'm feeling this IRL.

We see this sign everyday.

I appreciate the hands and heart that made this.

It has been at this exact corner for a couple years now. This year feels like a very necessary reminder.

A major investment for our future. Someone dreamed about it years ago.

I think about all the eyes that have seen this. All the smiles and bits of ease it has gifted. The life beyond the life.

The beyond.

This message is the message of aloha. The divine spirit that embodies all things. The breath shared between us, in the space of pure holiness. The harmony that comes with living a life in step with the rhythms surrounding. The recognition of connectivity, embodiment, and presence.

This is a touchstone to use, to return to ourselves. To come home when we can't come home.

The hello and goodbye of it all.

The worthiness. The love. The respect.